Beethoven's Diet

poem

Beethoven kept calling
sloppy bowls of beans
“Delicious candy.”

“Pass the ‘delicious candy’!”
he yelled at the table.
He yelled because he was
as deaf as a parakeet
crushed under a cinder block.

His butler hated hearing him
scream about delicious candy.

Beethoven spilled some
of the sloppy beans on his pants
“Holy crow!” screamed Beethoven.
“I got delicious candy
on my pantaloons!”

He ran to the Danube river
and waded in.
Trout and otters
swarmed him and consumed
the bean slop from his pants.

“They too,” thought Beethoven,
“love the delicious candy.”

For some reason I like imagining and writing about a nearly sub-human, non-historical version of Beethoven. I do not know why, but I believe knowing why would prove a great advantage to both myself and my loved ones.