God Shows Me

poem

I died and God showed me my sins
But when that was done
he put another tape in

this one was things i did 
that made him disappointed

not exactly sins, but just times
where something i did made God
feel weird about 
granting me my lifespan
and every breath

and when that tape was over God said,
“That’s volume 1 of 15”

and I knew that on one of those tapes
there was going to be 
a twenty minute sequence where I
ate lukewarm spaghetti 
out of a plastic bin off the counter

and was eating so much so fast
that i was getting out of breath

and I decided that I would ask God 
to fast-forward some of that

when I saw the bin of spaghetti show up
I said, “Lord, Father, this goes on 
for quite a while and”

“Shhh,” God said

five minutes passed and then 
God pressed the intercom button 
and said “grab Moses and Elijah 
and send them in”

they made me scooch over on the couch 
and sat there and looked at the screen
and then back at me
and leaned forward 
with their elbows on their knees
shaking their heads

“good spaghetti, huh?” Elijah said

“It was alright,” I said

Moses said, “you could have heated it up, 
melted some parmesan in”

I nodded because lots of time in life
I accepted less and worse 
than I probably should have

And God rewound one part in the middle 
where it looked like I was going to stop
and I stared for 45 seconds 
and my eyes were like two grey rocks
and then I started taking bigger bites faster

and they loved that part
and God and Moses and Elijah 
laughed, shoulders heaving
looking over at me
they couldn’t believe it
and God kept rewinding it

and the third time 
I started laughing too