Got Sick

some things that happened to me

I got sick a couple weeks ago. Sick enough to want to do something about it. Sometimes when I’m sick I can sleep through it, but this sickness racked me with aches and chills that kept me awake and miserable.

So I decided to see if I could get my pastor, Habeus Scrimshaw, to use his powers and heal me.

I called him and asked him to please cast out the demonic viruses in my cells. And he said, “How about I’ll pray for you.”

And I stayed sick. Seem to me like someone didn’t use his powers.

The truth is, he might not even have healing powers. If he doesn’t, my guess is that it’s because he lacks apostolic succession.

People say “sick as a dog” but I think that, for me personally, sometimes it’s worse than that. I get much sicker than a dog. I’ll get as sick as a mule or in some cases an ox.

But it’s all small potatoes when you compare it to my dad, who can get as sick or sicker than the Great Blue Heron, a majestic bird. When he gets the flu, he’s so sick it’s friggin’ inspirational.